Dear Martins

So, I’m trying to at least put up a blogpost every week. Zinny is back! She doesn’t want a steady slot on my blog (though I begged) but she gave me this. It’s interesting but she won’t tell me the guy that inspired this even though I KNOW this was based on real life. You’ll understand as you read.

Dear Martins,
Hi. It’s me, Star, brazenly taking a step out of the obscurity which I’ve lived in for far longer than was necessary. And why? To let you know that I like you…a lot…Heck, I love you.

I know I must have shocked you still. I’m not too good at that secret admirer stuff (even though that’s what I’ve been doing for the past three years), that’s why I skipped the medium of sms and other new technology on offer to opt for the rather forgotten and unconventional mode of letter writing to, in some way, get my feelings to your notice. Because you need to take notice.

What you do with this information is up to you. So don’t feel pressured. I’m not asking that you swiftly drop down on one knee and ask my hand in marriage once you’re done reading this or pursue any other radical course. And rest assured, I’m not going to come running after you, dogging your every movement, sending you mail or such craziness. Please don’t look for me in any shop windows. I won’t be there sneaking glances at you, promise. I didn’t “come out” to make your life miserable. On the contrary, I want the very best for you and if you decide I don’t give meaning to that word, it’s ok.

I only ask that you see me. I fear I may have misled you a bit by my rather ambiguous statement. No, I don’t mean date me, or visit me, even if that would be nice (I lie. It would be awesome!) I mean, notice me, look at me, not through me or past me. Take time and listen to me, to what I say and do. You would find talents you didn’t know I possessed or idiosyncrasies you’d rather be spared.

Here are a few: I love reading- novels, motivational books, Christian books, not so much academic books except it has to do with English. I do love the English language so. I love romantic novels, action novels, vampire novels… I’ve got an eclectic taste. I love entering into someone else’s world. It’s delightful… like travelling to exotic lands. I also love watching movies. My favourite genres are action, action comedy and romantic comedy. I also love sit-coms.

I sing really well. Yea, maybe not like the great Aretha, but I do try… in my own way. You should hear me sometime. I would love to sing to you.

Err, idiosyncrasies… which ones are publishable? I pick my nose, and sometimes in public. Gross, I know. Ladies shouldn’t. I know that too. But I hate feeling something in my nose just lying there. I think of it as keeping the airways clean. That’s my justification. Ok, enough said. This letter is meant to entrance you, not repel. I hope I haven’t ruined my chances by my candidness.

At the beginning of my letter, I said I love you. You must be wondering what it is about you I love. Everything that I know, I’ll have you know. Your smile, your long, full eyelashes, the smoky-deep timbre of your voice, the way you talk, the things you say, the way you’re built. Yep, not exactly Beckham, but you are my eye candy. Shocked? Don’t be. I’ve watched you a long time. I hope this doesn’t make you feel like some lab rat. You arrest my attention without even trying.
I realize how superficial I must sound. Forgive me, but I find no value in being pretentious. Besides, one can only know so much from a distance. Should I find out that you also have a philosopher’s mind and a great deal of charisma, listen to the oldies, and celebrate chivalry(e.g. won’t hesitate to fight for my honour), I may be found guilty of crossing the line from loving you to worshipping you. I’m aware that the contents of this letter would decide whether you would give me the time of the day or locate the closest shredder, so allow me add that I’m really not superficial. I care about the starving children in Africa, the floods in India and Japan, the protests in Egypt. How about that for depth? I am also blessed with the rare three: humour, wit and sarcasm,(courtesy my gene pool). Bottom line, I’d be the best thing that ever happened to you.

Hmm, I think it is illegal to market myself the way I have to you (something about fraud?). Still, here I am breaking the rules.
So, what do you say, brunch?



About cikk0

I think I'm proper sane. A lot of people seem to think different. Oh well... Locate a brother on twitter:!/cikk0

Posted on February 17, 2012, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 19 Comments.

  1. Martins is bored already joh…lawyer

  2. OMG!!! She must be my twin sister!! I’ve been there, Lord knows, even though i don’t have the patience for the 3 year wait.

    There was this one guy I told, and he started behaving like a pant. E no tey wey i tell am ‘abeg waka commot for my front!’

    Honey, don’t tell Chris who he is! A girl’s gotta have some secrets 🙂

  3. Come on babes, how could you leave out the most important thing… bedmatics? Call me shallow, but that’s like the one thing that’d make me…

  4. @laolu: lol. it would be his loss. Law is a course of study and a job, but not a personality.
    @Renee: thanks. Lips still zipped.

  5. Azubuike: bedmatics- most important thing?! looool. Speechless.

  6. Martins? where una dey take find the ‘s’ from?

  7. Very direct! Nice @jonnizap

  8. Lovely piece, I’d give you an eight for personal branding and I so totally relate to this.

  9. absolutely enjoyed reading this. Did the letter make it to a post office? Dont think I have the courage to make a full disclosure to an ‘admired’. Enough said, this is a brilliant piece.

  10. I should write this kinda letter. Though in my case I’d probably be stalking. 😀

  11. Van Persie. . . . Amy Van Persie

    Hmmmm. . . .

  12. Wow.. very brave!
    Must of us ladies would just die in silence (speaking for myself ._.)
    It is not easy..

  13. i can totally relate to this except mine was 2 years.

  14. Really nice and honest piece!! #iLike

  15. Nice one…absolutely love the choice of words 😊

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